A Steaming Pile of Failure

I was in a filthy mood all day today. It all started at 7:10am, which, may I remind you, is not a good time to start a filthy mood. Then things got progressively worse and by the time I arrived at work, I would have rated my mood "tempestuous", and declining fast. Why? Well, here's why:

• There was a crash on the highway, causing a 15 mile tail back. I missed the traffic report warning me of some stupid people's inability to stay in one lane because I was listening to CDs (White Stripes this morning). I have a great dislike for breakfast radio.
• When I finally arrived at work, all the coffee mugs were in the dishwasher. I HATE starting work under-caffeinated. This was despite my usual pint and a half of coffee before leaving the house.
• There was an irate message from the miniature Egyptian man I work with (more on him later). Where was I? Who was I with? What was I doing? Get down here IMMEDIATELY! Lord, if I wanted that sort of abuse, I'd get married.

OK, this project I'm on. I inherited it five weeks ago after the previous incumbent was "moved" to another project when everyone realised it was an absolute catastraf#%k. It's eight weeks behind (after 6 months!) and the budget has blown out from $125 million to $170 million - this ain't monopoly money. So I was installed as project manager, along with a hit squad. A hit squad of one man: the afore-mentioned miniature Egyptian man. Let's call him the ET: The Extraterrestrial (what can I say, that's what he looks like). Our job: get it back on the rails.

Right now, I feel I should point out ET has been in construction engineering for longer than I've been alive. He also wears stone wash denim (get back to the 80s!) and he barely comes up to my sternum. His attitude to getting a project back on track, slashing costs and yelling at people. A LOT. Me included! He'll be gone in five weeks, thankfully. That's if I don't strangle him first and bury him in a shoe box somewhere outside El Paso.

To close my day, I had a late meeting which I almost fell asleep in. I stayed awake by sending text messages to a friend. And when I finally got home, I cut my thumb on a tin of tuna. Not a red letter day, people.